[OTOSE SNACK HOUSE]
Otose-san, did you hear?
It seems we had a lot of complaints about last week's episode.
Well, GinTama will be off the air soon.
It won't be easy keeping GinTama on the air if it makes an enemy out of the PTA.
It happened when they cast a naturally wavy-haired guy,
a beastly girl and a stupid four-eyes as the main characters.
That's right.
It's an aging society with a falling birth rate.
From now on, it'll be an anime for senior citizens.
A mature woman like me would be a great main character.
Please consider a cat-eared woman as a mascot.
It's a deal. It'll be a new show starting in the fall season.
Catherine, go collect the last rent payment from those guys.
All right. I'm going!
[Entering the mountains to look for matsutake mushrooms... Gintoki and the others feel like they're on a picnic.]
[Blame the Odd Jobs Trio... Who's this mysterious man?!]
Sakata-san, Sakata-san.
I came to collect the rent for Otose-san.
Please open up. I know you're there.
Sakata-san, stupid Sakata-san.
Ah, that's why I told you we should've gotten an earlier start.
Shh, be quiet. Erase any traces of your presence.
And become one with nature.
You're part of the universe, and the universe is a part of you.
The universe is a part of me? That's great!
All my worries will become insignificant!
You're too loud! Be quiet!
You're the loudest one here!
No! Your punch line is the loudest!
It got quiet all of a sudden. Did she leave?
I'm as excited as if we were on a school trip.
Wait.
Open sesame!
Let's go.
Ah, wait...
Catherine's specialty is "lock picking."
Even if you hid in a safe box, you couldn't escape her.
O-Otose-san...
Call me "Latchkey Catherine."
Hey, mop head! Today I'm collecting my rent from you!
If you don't have any money, earn some by selling your organs or your balls!
You bastard!
Now!
Otose-san! Otose-san!
Hey, pay me the rent!
Gin-san, is it true we can gather enough matsutake mushrooms to pay the rent?
Otherwise, we won't be able to come back.
Don't worry. Believe in what I say.
Whoa!
Mushroom Hunting!!
["Think for a Minute Now, Do Matsutake Mushrooms Really Taste All That Good?"]
People often compare climbing a mountain to life.
Accomplishing something in life is like reaching the top of the mountain.
But mountains...
...aren't that simple.
If you don't have some place to come back to, you'll die in a ditch.
Once you've come back down the mountain,
you can say you've really accomplished something.
Everybody, come over!
Line up!
[Note: Spoof of a Drifters comedy sketch.]
Listen up!
Don't expect to be climbing down any mountains until we find some Matsutake mushrooms!
Mountain climbing doesn't end until you return home and say, "I'm back."
Don't get so excited! The mountain is always playing tricks on you!
What kind of mountain tricks?
What?! That's uh... They're similar to the tricks of summer.
It's like: Don't follow suspicious strangers when having fun at the beach.
Or like the warnings you hear in homeroom right before summer vacation...
You're the one who's the most excited, Gin-san.
You guys...this mountain is dangerous. Climb back down as soon as possible.
Really... In autumn, there're so many people who don't understand the harsh dangers of nature.
Well, but I...
...came here without knowing anything, either. I never thought I...
Hey, you! What the hell are you doing?!
Well, you know... I drank too much yesterday, so I thought I might return to the natural world.
And I exposed the lower half of my body so I can feel at one with nature.
You should return to the soil!
Ah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, somehow!
What do you mean "somehow"? You should feel completely sorry!
Gin-chan!
Huh?
Is this a matsutake mushroom?
No, no. That's the kiddy size.
The adult version looks much bigger.
Like about 30cm?
Well... I want to say that. But it makes me feel like I'm showing off...
Huh?
Ow, ow, ow!
You guys will be in danger if you don't climb down the mountain like I said.
In danger...
It doesn't sound too convincing when you were the one that got stuck on my hook.
Anyway, believe me. You should go home as soon as possible.
Who's that guy?
Was he trying to warn us about something?
I don't know...
Forget about that guy, and let's go find some matsutake mushrooms!
Oi!
No, no, no, no! Just look at it! It's obviously poisonous!
Don't make me repeat myself.
The uglier something looks, the better it tastes.
Like salted fish guts and crab guts.
But that weird color is a warning.
It's like, "I'm poisonous, so don't even get close to me."
Come on, it's always the edgiest, scariest guys who turn out to be the biggest teddy bears.
You saw that scene where the juvenile delinquent picks up an abandoned kitten
and protects it in his school uniform in the rain, right?
It's kind of a tradition in this country.
I've never seen anything like that.
In spring, he bumps into a girl on the street corner
who has bread in her mouth on the morning of the school's opening ceremony...
In rainy season, a juvenile delinquent puts an abandoned kitten in his school uniform...
And in fall, it's time for love confessions at the annual school festival.
Those are the traditions created by our ancestors.
What kind of four seasons are you talking about?!
Am I right, Sadaharu?
Oh, that smells good!
This is an excellent quality mushroom, even better than matsutake mushrooms.
You're amazing, Gin-san.
Why are you doing your own dubbing? He obviously rejected it.
Shut up, four-eyes! Don't talk back to Gin-san.
After all, you've only eaten shiitake mushrooms, huh?
[Note: A shiitake mushroom is an ordinary mushroom, less expensive than a matsutake mushroom.]
How about you? You can only afford to eat nameko soup, right?
[Note: Nameko is a small, amber-brown mushroom. It's even less expensive than shiitake mushrooms.]
You dirt-poor samurai!
Gin-chan! Shinpachi! Look! Look!
Here, I found a big one, uh-huh.
Can we eat this, too?
Wh-Where did you pick up something like that?! Don't get so close!
Go back to where you came from and take it with you!
And marry it so it won't come back!
Oh, my! You two are really excited. Don't worry we'll split it equally.
I don't want any part of that!
What is it, anyway? Is it dead?
I don't know.
Well, it was just lying over there.
I told you to stop picking up everything.
This is a bear, right? It has a mushroom growing on its head.
That's because it didn't use its brain much.
You know Kishibe-san, who lives on 3rd Street?
That old man had one on his head, too.
Is that right? I'd better be careful.
These wounds...don't look like they were inflicted by a hunter...
Like that man suggested, maybe we should climb down the mountain.
Idiot! Don't lose your nerve!
We haven't even found a single matsutake mushroom.
You know, "Unless you enter the tiger's den, you cannot steal her cubs."
How can we pick mushrooms if we're afraid of bears, damn it?!
How can you have an affair if you're scared of your wife, damn it?!
Matsutake, la la la...
Gin-san... Look up! Up there!
Matsutake...
No! No way! Playing dead doesn't work!
It's just an old wives' tale. Superstition!
Gin-chan, he's saying it's a superstition.
Ah, that's not fair! You are playing dead without me.
Mr. Bear, this guy is still alive!
See, he's still alive!
Don't talk so loud!
If you focus on pretending to be dead, it'll work, even on a bear.
Okay. G'night, Gin-chan.
Gin-san! Kagura-chan!
Hey, hey, playing dead nowadays... You guys are really old-fashioned.
Wait, wait, wait, wait!
Time out, time out!
Ah...
Yo! Over here!
That bear is Masamune.
In other words, he's in charge of this mountain.
I wonder who you are...
The name's Marinosuke. I'm hunting him.
Ah? Mushroom hunting?
Don't you know how dangerous this mountain is?
You're only saying that because you want the matsutake mushrooms all to yourself!
Kagura-chan, how can you say something like that to someone who rescued us?!
Marinosuke-san, please come over and have some food.
That huge bear you said was in charge of the mountain... Did something happen to it?
As you saw...
There's a strange mushroom on Masamune's head.
I don't know which planet it came from,
but anyone infected by that parasitic mushroom becomes its living food source.
You lose control of yourself
and turn into a ravenous monster that lives to fulfill the appetite of that mushroom.
The dead bear you saw was probably killed by Masamune.
It even kills fellow bears...
I heard it ravaged the crops and ate people in the village at the foot of the mountain.
The damage was devastating.
So, that's why I'm here.
I'm really good at this and the only one who can handle that huge bear.
Are you doing it for a reward? How much would you get if you beat him?
It's not like that.
Let's just say...he and I go way back.
If there's such a monster here, it's a lousy time to be matsutake mushroom hunting.
We have no other choice but to climb down the mountain!
But Gin-san! There's a mushroom growing on your head!
Huh?
Whoa!
It's because you're not using your head enough every day.
Hey, you've got one, too!
And, what?! Me, too?!
I told you. You've all been infected by the parasite.
This is what happens when amateurs go where they don't belong.
So do you!
What?! Why?! Hey, you guys, what did you put in this soup?!
That's impolite! You criticizing my cooking?!
You don't have many opportunities to eat a mushroom growing on a bear's head, uh-huh!
Why did you do that?!
How could you put a mushroom growing out of a corpse into the pot!
This is terrible! What's gonna happen to us?!
If we don't do something, we'll end up like that bear.
Right. If we don't do something, we'll end up in Mario's World.
No, that's not right.
If everything goes well, we'll be in the next Mario series.
No, we won't!
Mamma Mia!
But there's no need to panic.
If you get treated in the village during the early stages, you'll be okay.
Until then, don't touch the mushroom on your head.
Listen to what I say!
Whoa! It multiplied!
Hey, why are you smiling? It's not like you're better because you have more.
Marinosuke-san, what should we do?
Can do you something about it?! You can do something about it, right?!
Don't talk to me like I'm Professor Mushroom or something!
No way! This is terrible! Why does he have to show up now?!
This may be our last meal. We might as well eat.
That's my ambition, to die with a full stomach.
Why are you eating at a time like this?!
This is why amateurs keep my hands full.
Marinosuke-san!
I can take care of this myself. You guys head down to the village.
This fight is just between us. I don't need any help.
Right, Masamune?
Go now! Hurry up!
B-But...Gin-san.
Whoa! They're multiplying somehow!
It's like "infinite 1-UP" I feel like, even if I die, I can be revived!
I hope you die then!
Hey, four-eyes! Quickly get those fools outta here! Or it'll be too late.
All right.
Marinosuke-san! You better not die!
Who knows...
Sorry for making you wait, Masamune.
Either I pull this trigger or you'll take off my head...
Fight me!
Now!
Damn it...
Hey, hey, hey, where are you taking me?
Let me go. I gotta settle this with him once and for all.
What are you thinking?! Do you want to die?!
Shut up! Leave me alone! This has nothing to do with you guys.
He's coming!
Gin-san! Over there!
What's going on? I thought you guys went down the mountain!
We can climb down the mountain anytime.
But we just couldn't leave a guy who can't even climb down his own mountain.
You're saying... I climbed up my mountain, but can't climb down?
That might be true.
It's true that I climbed this mountain by myself...
And it was different from any mountain I've climbed before...
A long time ago there was a village of hunters.
They lived in harmony with nature.
Thus, they had a great respect for nature over all other things.
The village had rules.
Other than the scared hunt, interfering with the natural cycle of life and death was forbidden.
And you couldn't kill or come to anything's rescue.
But there was a man who was swayed by his emotions and broke that rule.
The man felt happy.
He'd never known anything but "Sacred killing"...
But now he'd saved a life, no matter how small...
And the man realized
that he was being supported by that small life...
But the pact-keepers showed no mercy and ripped that small life away from him.
The man was overwhelmed by rage and grief, but couldn't do anything.
From that day on, he was unable to raise his gun at anything ever again.
And one day, the man heard a rumor about a huge one-eyed bear laying waste to a village.
It doesn't look like it'll last long...
Both this tree and us.
He's taking his revenge against humans.
For the way they'd torn his parents from him and then mercilessly discarded him.
The foolish man who turned him into such a monster was me.
So the least I can do is try to kill him, or die by his hand... That's all I can do.
But no matter how many times I tried, I couldn't pull the trigger.
I believed that it was the right thing to climb this mountain, but I don't know how to climb down.
And so I might as well...
It wouldn't be so bad if I died in a ditch atop the mountain.
You've got it wrong.
Nobody knows where to go back down after they've climbed up the mountain. However...
...if you don't climb down, you won't know if you can ever climb another mountain.
If you want to die in a ditch, you can do it after you climb down this mountain, okay?
You...
Whoa! It's the end!
Move!
No effect at all, eh?
I guess the only way to save you is to blow that mushroom off your head.
Masamune!
Did I end it...?
You guys...
Marinosuke-san!
Masamune...
Forgive me...
Goodbye, Masamune.
It looks like I've caused you nothing but trouble.
What are you guys going to do now?
Well, we're tired of mushroom hunting.
We'll go grape picking next!
You guys will never learn.
...So, what are you going to do?
Finally, I climbed down my mountain.
I'll look for my next mountain and live freely.
I'll live for him, too.
[Preview]
Wow, "Kochikame" has been running for 31 years already.
[Note: Kochikame (Kochira Katsushika-ku Kameari Kōen-mae Hashutsujo) is the longest-running manga series in history.]
I hope GinTama lasts that long and becomes a national manga and they build a statue of me.
The next episode… "The Manga Writer Becomes a Pro, After Doing a Stock of Manuscripts."
Well, next is the King Kong twosome. Thanks.
Oops! It looks like I've arrived at the wrong time.
Sensei, please stop acting so blatant in trying to fill time.
I already told you this isn't a cigarette. It's a lollipop.
Don't try to laugh it off!
It's smoking because I’m licking it so fast.
Finally… Next is the King Kong twosome. Thanks.
[Whether people watch "King Kong Hills." Or whether those who don't will keep watching this channel.]